


Banner is an Idiot

by dsakitad



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk (2008), The Incredible Hulk (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Hulk saves the day, Idiot Bruce Banner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 18:17:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16665808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsakitad/pseuds/dsakitad
Summary: You take it upon yourself to try and coax your husband away from his research but he’s as clueless as ever.





	Banner is an Idiot

It was your typical Thursday night where you and your husband stayed in and got work done in the lab.

To clarify, Bruce worked on research and you surfed the web….doing your own research.

But really, your job was to make sure that Bruce didn’t get completely sucked into his work. If it weren’t for you, he would spend days and days behind his telescope. You kept him in the present.

Or at least, you tried.

It was going on for four days that he hasn’t kissed you. He hasn’t even touched you.

And you’ve had enough.

“Hey, Bruce?” you call over from your beanbag chair. It was your idea. If the only way you were going to get time with your husband was to hang out in his lab, you sure as heck was going to do it comfortably. Even if Bruce grumbled about it.

Bruce makes a noise of acknowledgment but otherwise doesn’t react.

You suck on your teeth and remind yourself of your goal.

“You’re hotter than a Bunsen burner turned up all the way.”

Your flirtation causes the man to pause, his eyes flick in your direction for a half second before promptly returning back to the slide under the scope. “That sounds incredibly dangerous and is a fire hazard. Why would you turn a burner all the way up?”

You just blink in response. At least you got 19 words from him.

You let out a sigh and turn back to the tablet in your hands, contemplating your next move.

Bruce is able to work in silence for several minutes until your next idea comes to you.

You get up from your seat and move to stand next to the working man, close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him. You rest your hip against the edge of the table, cross your arms, and stare the man down.

“According to the Second Law of Thermodynamics, you are supposed to share your hotness with me.”

Triumph surges through you when you see the blush cover his face and go down his neck.

He stops what he’s doing and looks up from his work and makes eye contact with you for the first time in what feels like forever.

You watch with amusement as he pulls his glasses off his face and fiddles with them. Hazel eyes meet yours and you see the confusion swimming in them.

Bruce clears his throat. “Why are you being so weird?”

You narrow your eyes and scoff. “I’m not being weird. You’re just basic.” Pain hits your heart for a moment, unable to keep from being disappointed that your chem flirtations weren’t working. Instead, you paste a flirtatious smile on your face. “Maybe I’m just trying to coerce you into my bed.”

Bruce blinks. “But…why? We’re already married. What more do you want?”

You can’t stop the gasp that spills from your lips, your body tense as you feel yourself go on the defense. “Okay, wow. I can take the hint. I know when I’m not wanted.” You let out a disappointed sigh and shake your head.

Turning away, you walk over your plush chair, gather your things, and head for the door.

You pause just before exiting. “I’m going to bed,” you say tersely.  “See you…next time, I guess.”

You look longingly at your husband one last time before departing, heading for your rooms.

This left Bruce alone and confused. ~~Despite~~ having multiple Ph.D.’s, one thing he knew for certain was that he would never fully understand was the mind of a woman.

“Banner is an idiot.” Hulk comments in the back of Bruce’s mind. “Hulk take good care of pretty lady.”

Bruce’s brow furrows. “What do you mean I’m an idiot?” he asks aloud.

Hulk brings up the harsh words the Bruce unwittingly said.

“Shit!”

* * *

You enter your room and throw your phone and tablet on the bed and head for your closet.

Logically, you know you should be as upset as you are, but dammit. Touch is important!

Huffing, you start to dig through the clothes to find your favorite “lazy” clothes.

A long soak in the tub with a bath bomb would soothe your soul.

You hear heavy footsteps outside in the hall leading up to your door followed by the squeak of a rusty hinge.

You force yourself to take a deep breath, eyes squeezed tight, the tips of your fingers pressing heavily to your temple, rubbing in circular motions.

A very deep part of you was glad that you were able to get your husband out of the lab, but the bigger part was miffed at how it happened. Why couldn’t he think before he spoke?

You keep your back to the closet door and resume your search for a specific pair of cotton shorts you sold your soul for. You ignored the presence of Bruce who was standing awkwardly behind you.

He was unsure of what to say.

You weren’t going to help him.

Locating the evasive shorts, you snatch them from their spot and turn to exit the closet, not even sparing a glance towards Bruce.

You don’t miss the wince he gives as he turns his body to follow your moving form.

He clears his throat. “Y/N?” You ignore him. “I want to stick to you like glucose.”

You scoff, but otherwise, don’t comment.

“Uh. Maybe….I. You are a photon quanta to my valence electron because you eh - excite me to a higher energy level.”

You bite your lip to hide the grin that threatens to take over. If he thought parroting back a few pickup lines were going to break you, he had another thing coming.

You turn your head to look at him from over your shoulder, an unimpressed look on your face. “Are you trying to flirt? Because you are just embarrassing yourself.”

He gives you an apologetic look. “What I said in the lab, that wasn’t okay and it wasn’t what I meant. As your husband and partner in life, it is my responsibility to make sure that you are always my number one priority. And I failed.” He looked down at his hands, twisting his wedding band on his finger. “I know that you put up with a lot from me and I think - no, I do take that for granted. But,” he meets your gaze, “I will try better. And give you…love.”

Your hard expression cracks, empathy breaking through. “Yeah? Well, you’re all talk right now.”

A sheepish look takes over his expression, but he gives you a small smile. “Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element.”

You laugh, the last of your defenses crumbling. Grabbing a towel from on top of a dresser, you say, “Speaking of hydrogen, I’m gonna shower.”

You enter the en-suite bathroom, extra sway in your hips.

Bruce perks up at this, his dark eyes following your form. He licks his lips, hands rubbing together. “Um, don’t I get an invite?”

You peek your head back out and give him a salacious grin.

“Fucking duh.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr @ds-akita-d


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